XY

MEN!
Well... same old thing innit.
I want a guy but I excel in fucking it up, even if the particular method by which I fuck it up, is that I pick a vile specimen of a man in the first place.
I love being with someone, its brilliant having a boyfriend.
Not mad keen on the whole sex malarky but I can get past that once in a while if it keeps them happy. Lay back and think of England. Or Montauk. Depends where my heads at but anyway-

Between cheating on someone because they were massively distrusting/chronically paranoid I would, breaking up with people because they've said "I love you" when I'm not ready to hear it, and making that all time favourite blunder: going out with someone because you're lonely. Oh and another blinder: going out with someone part-time because I knew if I got drunk I'd easily stray.
I'm not sure if I qualify for a boyfriend. I'm either unbaked cookies and simply not ready for them or I simply don't deserve one right now. But I'm really happy when I'm with someone.

Once upon a time I fell in love with two very different men, at the same time. It still baffles me to this day. So very different but both made me very very happy for a time- and both were not a good fit. One short, one tall- one safe, one passionate- one caring, one hurtful- one clear, one vague.
As is the curse of gays and women alike, I chased the vague, mysterious one, the one that hurt. The safe one made me feel old but his arms felt like home. The passionate one was only passionate while I interested him, after that it was too late. Wasn't his fault, I was in love.
Oooh this bowl is much too sweet. Bleh, this bowl is far too salty...

Where the hell is my "just right"?
Having said that, I am a plonker, a total dick at times. I don't really have the right to demand anything. And the fact that I know/recognise/confess this, does not make me a better or enlightened guy. I guess it just means I'm ok with calling myself a wanker.

I can be loyal though, I didn't believe that myself but I tested it out and I can. I've even seen me be a really nice boyfriend. Treated as I would like to be treated.
I just seem to get screwed or worse still, pissed off by having picked the wrong guy and become the screwer.

Maybe I should just leave a pile of application forms somewhere with a forwarding address, sit back and see how many people are willing to take a risk on me. Having said that I'm pretty damn insecure so I'd have to find a job that allowed me to spend all time sat infront of the letterbox.

Wanted: Laid back but creatively romantic man with a low libido. GSOH preferrable but not necessary. MUST like kisses and cuddles. I purr and burble when happy so those who find that creepy or odd, probably shouldn't apply.

Blessed Be

BB