Origins

From a hill in the Lake District, watched over by Venus. To a sofa in the middle of nowhere- masterminding a career where I become anyone other than myself. But what does it all mean? Will an answer be found? Will there be ears to hear it, will there be lips to speak it?
Will anyone care?
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Thats a shit start, I'm actually a little angry at my fingertips for having produced that start. There should be more punch, more certainty and a lot more glam.
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My name is BB Obscene and I live La Vie de Gaga!
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Now thats an opening sentence!
True to say I am somewhat in awe of the Lady, more than a little. Walking art is not to be sniffed at in this day and age. I just saw a tv listing for a god forsaken sky channel that was about to air a programme entitled "Jade: A Year Without Her". Lady Gaga is hope against such drivvel.
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So I suppose I should start by saying a bit about myself before I engage in full on blogging, egotistically spewing my thoughts into the world wide web on the vague assumption that someone might read them.
As you may have gathered by now, I am an aspiring actor, I have an audition for the RSAMD in 3 weeks time- at present it is my one path. Hopefully it will not be a dead end.
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As a child I felt more comfortable around adults than peers, I loved to dress up which has proved to be a dead give away to who I have become, I grew up around cats and dogs and hippies. I was a very happy child. I liked trees.
As a teen it became apparent I was mentally unwell and my mother got me the help I needed. She saved me. Since then I have gotten over my hatred for human beings, men and recently my father. Unfortunately I didn't have the good sense to do this before he died last december.
As a young man at 22 years old, I still feel like a child- just somewhat dented now. I love to act- the cynic in me says this is because I often don't like the person I've become. The optimist says its because I got to know myself quicker than most, comfortable in my own head so now I long to wander through others, like I'm adventuring across glacial mindscapes. Perhaps its both, perhaps neither. One day I'm a sociopath, the next I'm a south african grey parrot called Dudley.
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I also love to write, it lets your mind rest- coincidentally I also love sleeping.
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I'm still pretty useless with people. I've never been great at staying in touch with the dear friends I have. On a very base level I seem to operate on the assumption that neither I or my friends will change in the absence and that when we come together: it'll be like it always is- it never is though. In the past two years I felt a lot of loss at the people I simply no longer speak to, which I've now realised is a part of growing up. Your social circles dont break apart, they just get refined. Until you're left with the people you really loved the whole time but none of the endless almost-friends that Facebook keeps telling me to write to. We could up-date each other time and time again but we're not from each other lives and never will be- the point we were connected is long gone. The threads led away from each other, with little likelyhood of being joined again. Not to be mourned, just fondly remembered.

Frankly I've waffled enough for one entry. So I'll leave you (whoever you may be) with that.
Tune in next time folks .
As always, Blessed Be.

BB